If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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