My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
