..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
organizing the empties. That sober.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
