GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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