i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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