I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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