remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
