Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
