Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
