that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
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