Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
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