new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
