sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
