we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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