Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
