i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
