I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
