How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
