what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
