Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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