So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
