so that wasnt chicken after all
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Randomize
