If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You may now shotgun with the bride
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
