I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just gift wrapped bread.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
