Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
