Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
