was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
