3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
