Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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