if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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