I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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