That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
