ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
