I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
