And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
