I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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