good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
