i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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