I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
