She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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