Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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