I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
