Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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