What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
