Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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