you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
