it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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