Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
