He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
