there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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