This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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