Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
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