There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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